Increasingly of late as a Doula who speaks my mind, protects women in real life, in my groups and in my work, I feel vulnerable.
In the words of Lucy Pearce in Burning Woman, I have come to see I can be “burned for my work” and often by those who should be women centric themselves but instead chose to mirror their own insecurities onto others.
This isn’t going to change me – it has taken me many years to accept who I am, my light and my shadow sides and to be comfortable in my own skin. I understand that not everyone is going to see eye to eye with me. The world would be boring if we were all the same after all.
Recently I was left a malicious and trolling review by the ex partner of one of my clients – that could be considered an attempt at witness intimidation, initially I was upset by this (I am pretty proud of my 5 star feedback), but instead of damaging me, I received a number of concerned messages, PM’s and texts supporting my stance of standing by women in difficult situations.
I am proud of my track record of supporting abuse victims and survivors of domestic violence and of birth related obstetric violence, of both genders, including myself.
My default position is I always believe without question and without explanation – I don’t need details or to be told what’s happened – I believe unquestionably and absolutely.
If you have a life, birth or other story you will like to share, please contact me HERE.
Another recent example involves unpleasant rumour mongering and mud throwing across the internet, however “if mud sticks imagine how dirty their hands are” springs to mind and I am able to rise above this sort of school girl behaviour.
I co-admin groups with thousands of women and hundreds of birth workers and I find it interesting that despite this and the numerous, harmonious relationships I have with many other professionals in the birth world, the automatic position for some is to look to cast blame and aspersion, rather than to reflect and focus on ones own behaviour.
As someone who is self employed, myself and my business are always going to be an easy target for anyone who doesn’t like that (or me) – but I’m not going to stop doing what I do – I’ve worked very hard to build my reputation over the last 4 years and it’s going to take more to damage it.
Those who speak up and speak out and raise their heads above the parapet are always going to be targets of those who would prefer silence. The Blog “Who Does She Think She Is?” explores this in more detail.
As always I thank everyone for your love, support and concern but I am always fine and there is never a reason to worry about me.
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Samantha Gadsden walks with women on their life’s journeys. She is an experienced Doula, based close to Cardiff in South Wales, mother to 4 children and wife to Eddie, more information can be found on her facebook page, Samantha Gadsden Doula and her website, Caerphilly Doula. SOS Doula, Telephone and online support is always available.
If you are interested in writing a guest blog or sharing a life or birth story please feel free to contact her HERE.
“Your Journey, Your Body, Your Baby, Your Birth“