Samantha says – “the more I read in my Home Birth Support Group UK, the more I am convinced that when induction is truly medically indicated, it runs smoothly – this story from one of my group members confirms that.
💉actual positive induction.
📆 29th Dec 21 (7:53am) 38+3
🤱2nd time mum
💊TENs + Gas and air
So after my first birth that left me with PTSD. I was 100% sure I was having a homebirth when I found out I was expecting baby 2. I swiftly got researching and planning and told my midwife at booking that I would be having a homebirth. No objections from her!
Fast forward to my 20 week scan. I was told I had vasa previa due to a bilobed placenta and velamentous cord insertion. This meant I had to have a caesarean birth. I was put on complete bed rest. My world quite literally came crumbling down, not only couldn’t I have a homebirth, but I also couldn’t birth vaginally and my baby would have to come between 34-35 weeks and I would have to be inpatient from 30 weeks. Csection is one of my biggest fears. But I quickly got over my fears after coming on here to receive all this wonderful advice and learnt about gentle cesareans. So this is what I planned.
Fast forward again to my appointments with a fetal medicine specialist. It was confirmed vasa previa was no longer an issue as it was far from my cervix. I still had a bilobed placenta with VCI but this meant I could attempt vaginal delivery. Absolutely amazing! Talk about a rollercoaster of emotions but I was just glad I could think about vaginal delivery again and go full term.
I had growth scans and doppler scans throughout pregnancy and everything was good until 36 weeks where growth dropped dramatically. Induction was talked about but I respectfully declined based on normal doppler findings. 38+2 weeks growth just wasn’t happening and I had reduced movements. They wanted me to come in that same day for induction and at this point I accepted as there were always concerns of me going into labour at home with the VCI. So I was sent home to get my bags.
I arrived at the hospital a few hours later and I was 2cm so I was given a room and my partner was allowed in from the beginning. So with the help of the consultant who examined to make sure there were no vessels present near my cervix , my waters were broken.
I had no pains after 4 hours.
I had a meltdown and cried bucketloads. My heart was hurting that I was making my baby come early, I felt so guilty and the bright lights and hospital room brought back so many awful memories of my first birth. I sat on the toilet with my waters leaking and my eyes leaking. I was also terrified of being pumped with drugs and having a drip which was the next step. I cried so hard. This was my lowest moment in the whole process. My partner just held me and that helped.
The midwife came back and upon examination I was 3cm. I wasn’t contracting regularly. Maybe 1 tightening in an hour. Although I tried to hide it, it was kind of obvious to the midwife that I had been crying. My face was red, eyes puffy and to my demise, my nose was running all over while she was trying to talk to me 🙈
She reassured me, she turned the lights low for me and cheered me up. She even found a vein in my arm instead of my hand as that was my biggest fear. She also put extra bandaging on my arm as I was so grossed out by the thought of it being knocked. I felt great after this and confident.
The room was calm, I had frankincense essential oil on a tissue, and the midwife was so lovely. I was no longer scared of what was going to happen as it was already so much different in comparison to my first. I cant believe my first was a MLU birth and I was in the hospital for my second and somehow its already better.
3.05am , I was put on the Pitocin drip. Almost immediately I was contracting.
They were about 10 minutes apart and manageable. The midwife suggested I put my TENs machine on now so that it could have time to get working. She and my partner had a laugh trying to work out how to put it on but we got there !
Everything after this point is a bit of a blur, time didn’t really compute as I fully got into my ‘zone’. I used breathing techniques for the contractions as they got stronger and closer together. I felt like I was bossing it, I was never able to manage contractions with my first as I was on a ward with other people and they started painfully and 1 minute apart from the beginning. I was also alone without my partner and was very anxious as a FTM. I panicked from the beginning and was too scared to press the bell for a midwife to help me.
This time I had my partner and was alone in our room. I felt comfortable.
The midwife left me to it.
The only issue I had with this was the fact I was on a drip and I was being monitored continuously. I had another mini meltdown because I was scared to ring the bell so that I could go to the toilet. I got angry and cried because I felt embarrassed to have to ask to go to the loo constantly!
My partner took over and asked for me. Anxiety will do that to ya 😂
A couple hours of laying on the bed, my partner asked the midwife if I could get into a better position.
At 5.45am I started on gas and air as the contractions were really starting to kick me. Midwife checked me and I was 5cm.
The bed was put upright and I hung over the edge, the relief was amazing.
Midwife left me and my partner to it for a little bit.
I was truly in the zone at this point. I had my eyes closed and swayed instinctively side to side during contractions and was surprised to find that the pain was super manageable when I did that and used the gas and air to manage my breathing.
Midwife came to check up on me at about 7am and asked if I could feel baby coming down. I said no I don’t think so, I don’t know , maybe!
I think I was confused as baby was coming down slower than my first who I could all of a sudden feel come down the birth canal out of nowhere and his head appeared in a matter of minutes.
It was a lot calmer this time, baby moved down in his own time, the midwife mentioned that my sacrum was protruding a fair bit and she could tell from the noises I was making that my body was bringing him down. She was right! All of a sudden I could feel him coming down, I got all hot and sweaty and with each contraction, instead of just complete agony, it was also me bearing down, somethin I felt like I had no control over. I could feel my throat close off and my legs would bend into a squat. The midwife asked my partner to press the bell. At this point I snapped out of my zone and started panicking, I half shouted “no no no! Why! Why are you pressing that, what’s wrong , what’s happening” (I thought maybe a vessel had ruptured)
In my head, history was repeating itself. The room was about to be flooded with consultants and midwives and every tom, dick and harry they could find, forceps, scissors, caesarean section. I went into complete panic. But only for a few seconds, the midwife quickly stopped me and told me everything was absolutely perfect and it was time to meet my baby and she just wanted another midwife as it was almost time to swap to day shift.
I calmed down instantly, she was so soothing. Another midwife came in who was just as lovely. She introduced herself and I felt comfortable.
I am still hung over the bed, swaying and moving baby down. Not once did they force me to have a VE. The midwives said things like ‘let your body do the work”, “do what you need to do” etc. Which really helped. Most of this is a blur tbh, I remember my partner rubbing my back and me bursting into tears saying “your hands are like sandpaper” hahha.
Anyway my baby started crowning, I remembered KICO. So I did that and the midwife said “yes! that’s amazing, you know exactly what to do!” She advised me to stop the gas and air so I did.
I started panicking at this point as I felt my vagina tearing but I couldn’t stop pushing, I felt a little bit out of control as I wanted it all to stop and I was terrified! I told the midwife that the top of my vagina was going to rip and I screamed so loud and said “CUT ME PLEASE IM BEGGING PLS PLS CUT ME , CUT ME PLEASE “
She said “it’s okay, just breathe, you’re doing it, a tear is much better recovery'” which calmed me down. I held my clitoris area and felt my babies head. I roared and my babys’ head was out along with his hand that was above his head. I felt myself rip which wasn’t pleasant but it was ok, and in the next contraction the body was out. What a relief omg! Midwife passed him through my legs but he wasn’t breathing. The cord was too short for me to pick him up and after rubbing he still wasn’t breathing.
I consented to them cutting the cord as it was looking like resus and the cord was so short. After the cord was cut I lifted him up to me and rubbed him and he started breathing before resus was needed.
We got settled in bed and I birthed the placenta. Now the stitching was horrible I wont lie. i had to give my baby to my partner for skin to skin for this part as I got too high on gas and air. the midwife was lovely and said how my previous episiotomy was messed up and I had a pocket and a tag which she cut off for me and fixed me up as i tore here anyway . I have looked at it since and I’m so happy, she did such a good job. 🙂
I had such a healing experience even though it was in hospital, it was the safest place to be.
I wasn’t even admitted to postnatal as I had a horrific experience there last time and I was discharged home. my partner never left my side from start to finish. My faith in my hospital has been restored, but I wont forget my first experience at the accompanying MLU that I wont forgive them for.